I am a male feminist.
I know it can be stupid to complain that one is part of what is considered normal or on top of society, but the fact is that gender roles hurt every part of society. I like to describe it as women being bound in a sphere and men being stuck on a pedestal. Leaving our roles, even a little bit, will end up with us being derided and even hated.
I feel like I am in a prison of privilege. Like I constantly have to hold up this ideal of a strong, emotionless man. I can’t cry. I can’t not know what to do. And of course, I can’t complain that I’m stuck in this role I never chose because my role happens to be considered better by society than any alternative.
I have had a somewhat strained relationship with my father at times. In part this is because of our differing political views, but much of that stems from his expectations of gender. I self-identify as a mostly straight cisgender male, but I acknowledge that most of my actual personality is more feminine than masculine.
But back to my dad. He often gripes that men in today’s society have to be touchy and sensitive bleeding hearts and that there’s no place for the “man’s man” who is overly tough and a strong and competent leader who lets no emotion impede his progress. When I hear that kind of talk, a little part of me breaks inside. Because every time I am told I must be some independent übermensch because I happened to be born with a dick.
So yes, I’m a feminist because life sucks for women and the lgbt community. I’m a feminist because aspects of my race and body image let me see what it’s like to feel marginalized and othered. I'm a feminist because I enjoy studying sociology and seeing how much we are effected by things outside of our control. I’m a feminist because I believe in equality and fairness.
But I think it’s important to note that feminism has something to offer men. We need feminism because the abolition of gender roles would free men to take whatever path we choose just as it would with women or any other gender.
Are you really a feminist or are you genderqueer?
ReplyDeleteWhy can't I be both?
ReplyDeleteBut no yeah, I'm not genderqueer because I have a solid gender identity. Like I said, I fit most of the masculine "normal" checkmarks for this stuff. I'm not questioning my own gender.
But if I was genderqueer I'd have all the more reason to be a feminist, eh?
I love this so much. It really pisses me off when people think men can't be feminists. It also pisses me off when people think feminists are crazy and man-hating and want women to overpower men.
ReplyDelete@schemestresses -- labels are so problematic but mostly my response to you is -- GAH. This person has self identified as feminist... if you think genderqueer or some other label would fit someone better why don't you offer a "definition" and let that person decide which one fits best...
ReplyDeleteLove this Jon. Having to act a certain way because you were born into a society, group, etc. is just not worth the effort. Be yourself and tell others to do the same.
ReplyDeleteWhat I find disturbing about the male ideal is that it isn't really good for our society. For instance, when a woman commits a violent crime, news headlines say Woman Commits ( Insert Violent Crime). But when a man commits a violent crime, it isn't really news ( unless then man happens to be Muslim...) So we see a news article and say to ourselves " Women are becoming more violent these days" without realizing that something like 75 percent of violent crimes in the U.S. are committed by men.
ReplyDeleteI am a male feminist too. Mainly because it just makes perfect sense to be one. It fits in my head. Equality is something worth striving for and gender equality is one of the most important goals. It just seems entirely alien to me feel like I have to give off some masculine image and to put women 'in their place' or whatever. I can't think of one single logical argument against feminism, it would only be knee-jerk emotional reactionists that think otherwise, or people that feel being a feminist somehow makes them less of a 'man'. Which is nonsense.
ReplyDeleteGlad I found this blog via your latest Minute Vlog. Keep blogging and vlogging!